Hybride Work and The Power of Emotional Intelligence
Bizarre behaviors
I’m guilty of it. Leaving my jacket on the back of my chair in the office and keeping my computer screen on to make it look like I was still around the building somewhere, working hard around the clock to get my tasks done.
When I look back I’m embarrassed to say that this was behavior I had learned and practiced. I had seen how others in the organization behaved and this seemed to be the ‘way we do things around here’. You were expected to work long hours and be visible in the office to get on. So I did it.
The scary thing was that I already worked 12-hour days in that role and I wasn’t the only person to do this. I worked in a dynamic marketing team for a short-haul airline in the 1990s and everyone seemed to develop strange behaviors in order to be favored by “the management” (that was our perception anyway – it seemed to work for most)
Managers seemed to reward those who sought the ‘workaholic’ badge of honor and passively remarked on those who worked ‘part-time’ (they were working their contracted hours – we might call them the ‘quiet quitters’ these days).!
I worked so incredibly hard then. I was super productive but to be honest, I did most of the ‘real work’ before the rest of the business came in and after they left. The offices were open 24 hours a day and you’d find me at my desk from about 5:30am so that I could complete the majority of my tasks before the interruptions started at 9am and then again after 6pm when most of the staff had gone home!
Was this a smart way to work? No way!
This role was my first proper job after university and I had something to prove. Only now do I recognize that I was in a state of burnout on a number of occasions early in my career. I did my work, I was present for my boss to see me and I did some more work when she left for the day.
It’s About the How Not the Where [we work] | Sandra Thompson | DisruptHR Talks from DisruptHR on Vimeo.
Lacking motivation
The working environment back then, the way I was managed, and how work was done were toxic. I loved aspects of my role, some of the tasks I had to complete, and a few of the people I worked with in other teams. The perks were amazing!
I had chosen to work in the airline industry as I knew it would give me the baptism of fire I needed to propel in the marketing profession but if someone had asked me if I was engaged in my job and if I was motivated by the way work was done, I would have answered instantly with a no! A flat and decisive and absolute no!
I work incredibly hard now. But I’m smarter in the way I work and now it’s different. I choose where I work and how I undertake the tasks I need to complete for my clients. I don’t need to be in one place to do my work and I know when I am at my best and when work feels like a slog! (so I stop and do something else I know I can get done without feeling like I’m wading through treacle).
Take this article as an example. I came up with the theme for it at 5:30 am when I was on my way to London for meetings – so I wrote the outline on the train in silence. I did a bit of research with some background buzz in a co-working space in North London later that day and I finished it in a vibrant cafe on my way home (with my headphones in). I got the work done at times when I was in the zone and it took me a quarter of the time it would have done if I’d forced myself into an office, not leaving that space until it was done.
Work is about tasks and the energy you have to complete them
I have learned that I have ideas outside of the ‘working day’ and I have the inspiration to write, analyze, problem solve and deliver good quality work in different places where the ‘energy is right for me’. How often have you found that a task takes you so much longer than it should have or you just couldn’t get started or you went back to a piece of work and wondered what on earth you were thinking when you did it as it made little sense when you reviewed it (when you were mentally in a better, more focused place!) ?
I work for myself now and I work from anywhere, wherever I need to to get into the right zone to do the tasks I need to complete to run my business. I work with a range of clients all over the world in different time zones, on different projects using different aspects of the experience and knowledge I have gathered together over the last 30 years. I know now that the tasks I do get done when I match my energy levels with the type of task to be completed.
Inhumane work conditions?
Humans are curious, they love to be creative, to master something that interests them, to find meaning in the thing they are doing and they yearn for the freedom to influence the things they are doing. They become anxious, stressed, and burned out when they think that they are being micromanaged, monitored and confined. When we recruit people to do a job, they do the job well, and yet we suffocate them as they do it and wonder why their lives become miserable. They are not engaged or motivated in their role.
The contradiction
On one hand, we have a greater understanding of how the brain works and psychologists are helping businesses better relate to their customers and their staff. We can see that health and wellbeing is on the strategic agenda for many businesses. YET, we are also in an era of growing ‘productivity paranoia’ according to a new report from Linkedin and Microsoft who report that trust is eroding significantly in the workplace as bosses don’t trust employees to do their work when they can’t see them and employees know that their bosses think this and it makes them uneasy!
Productivity paranoia
What on earth are we doing spying on people, checking that they are moving their mouse and asking them to turn their camera on when we’re in a zoom call so that we can make sure that they are where they said they would be?
These bizarre behaviors are happening right now across the globe and they are the result of managers doubting that their staff, who are working out of their sight (at home or in co-working spaces) are doing any work! There managers are paranoid that their staff are not productive when they can’t physically see them!
It seems to me that the bizarre behaviors of the 1990s will start to play out again soon so that managers are reassured that tasks are being completed. Even though their teams would actually be more productive if they were out of their sight. The irony is that in some cases managers want their teams to come into the office so that they know where they are even when they themselves work from home and seldom see their staff!
I don’t have anyone monitoring how I work, or checking that I have been active on my laptop. I don’t have anyone in HR sending me emails with ‘productivity charts’ showing me my performance based on the movement of my mouse. I’m not told to put my camera on in a meeting to check that I am where I said I would be! I don’t have anyone deducting money from my monthly paycheck because I haven’t been sufficiently present in my work (because my keystroke rate was significantly lower over a two-week period).
It’s time to learn how to be emotionally intelligent!
We all know that things have changed since the Pandemic, but I worry that we have done very little to adapt to these changes mentally and therefore in our thinking and resultant behavior.
It’s likely that your company allows or encourages people in your organization to work from home occasionally. You may have a hybrid work policy or you’re moving to ‘remote first’. It’s possible that you are redesigning your organization so that it becomes either remote or hybrid in time or you think that you have been through this transition.
It seems to me, especially in the wake of the ‘productivity paranoid’ revelation, that there is a dramatic difference between operationally enabling people to work from a range of places outside of the office and preparing people psychologically for the opportunity afforded to people who can be more productive working where they get the energy to do the task at hand!
This is where learning the skill of emotional intelligence (ei) can help! If you have heard of EI or you have in fact learned the skill and practice it in every aspect of your life, you will know how powerful it is in helping you to manage your emotions and enabling you to show up in a way that will help you be kind to yourself and nurture the relationship you have with others.
What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter now?
Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others. It’s your ability to manage your behavior and relationships.
I fundamentally believe that if managers and their staff recognized and understood their emotions and managed their behavior as a consequence, the workplace would be full of people who could get on with their tasks, get through them quicker (without interruptions and the continual stream of unnecessary meetings) and they would be happier at the same time.
We know that productivity went up when people worked from home during the Pandemic and remote workers who are measured by their outputs rather than the hours they ‘attend’ work are the most productive of all.
If managers had a high degree of emotional self-awareness, they would recognize that their obsession with needing to see people physically (in order to be reassured) highlights the insecurity they have themselves about the work of others – it’s a perception and it’s not the truth.
They may have made appalling decisions on who they have recruited and are right not to trust another adult to complete tasks, but this is not the norm! (and you really do have to overhaul your attracting, selection, and recruitment processes if this is the case!) Or they have to spend time learning how to manage using autonomy, mastery, and purpose and the key ways to lead their teams. Check out Dan Pink for more on that.
In the same way, employees must be aware of how they feel about work and the tasks they are required to complete. They need to learn now to manage their energy so that they use time well. They don’t have to become burnt out and there should be more flexibility for them to do the right work at the right time, in the right place.
These employees need to evaluate the relationship they have with their manager, deliver what they said they would, offer feedback and insight and use their incredible communication skills to enable others to help them improve their performance.
An employee journey utilizing the skill of emotional intelligence
Imagine if your people made comments like these on their journey with you. Picture a time when your work and the focus on your organization was on the employee, rather than the needs of the manager or the organization. It seems counterintuitive that the organization that needs tasks to be completed to be successful would create issues and challenges for employees to complete these tasks in a smarter way.
This emotionally intelligent employee journey is very possible! With a commitment to recognise and understand your emotions in yourself and in others and to harness your ability to manage your behavior and relationships, you can prevent some of the casualties we are now hearing about in the hybrid and remote workspace.
When people practice the skill of emotional intelligence, there would be no need to come into the office so that your manager felt reassured that you were productive. Monitoring keystrokes and mouse movements would be unnecessary and culturally unacceptable! Plus people would want to keep their cameras on during meetings out of choice because they wanted to see their colleagues not because they had to!
Managers would be comfortable and would positively encourage their staff to work from whatever location they got the energy they needed to complete tasks in a smart way and there would be unconditional support and trust between the whole team and the manager.
The first step now is to find out how emotionally intelligent you are already! Take this quiz to find out!
Listening
What type of listener are you?
- A) I pay full attention to what the other person is saying, and I notice their body language too.
- B) I listen closely when I’m not distracted by my phone
- C) I get the general gist of what the person is saying and can often finish their sentences
- D) Sorry, what was the question?
Explanation: When you focus completely on the other person they feel more valued and are more likely to trust you. You are more likely to notice changes in the tone of their voice and emphasis on particular words which can indicate how the person is feeling. When you are distracted in conversation, the other person will feel it and become less likely to engage.
Focus
How focused are you when talking to a colleague or friend?
- A) I ask questions to help the person describe their experience and feelings.
- B) I like to provide suggestions on how they might solve their problem.
- C) I’ve always got a story about a similar situation I know they would like to hear.
- D) Funny thing is, we always end up talking about me.
Explanation: Every single human being has a different perspective on the world. The meaning they attach to things will be different to you. The experience you describe in your examples, your stories or the story of a ‘friend of yours’ is unlikely to be the same as the person you are speaking to. You will lose the connection with the other person.
Understanding
Which of these statements best sums up your approach to understanding others?
- A) I never know exactly how the other person is feeling – that’s not important, it’s being there for someone,
being supportive
- B) It’s easy for me to work out exactly what the other person is feeling and why
- C) I just know precisely how someone feels as I know I am feeling the same
- D) There’s only six emotions out there, I pick one of the six to describe how the other person is feeling. Simple.
Explanation: Our emotions are shaped by how we have been brought up and the people who have influenced our beliefs and values. They have also been shaped by our experiences and the meaning we have attached to those experiences plus the context of that moment. This means that it is rare, if not impossible for you to feel the same as the others.
Learning
What do you do to build your empathy ‘muscle’?
A ) I’m always trying to become more self-aware, it’s an ongoing process. The greater my self-awareness the better I am at empathizing.
- B) I think that I’m empathetic, but I often ask people if that is the case.
- C) Empathy and Sympathy are the same thing aren’t they? I’m great at sympathy.
- D) You’re either empathetic or you’re not. I’m not going to bother trying.
Explanation: Empathy and sympathy are not the same. You can learn how to be more empathetic by focusing on understanding how you feel first (self-awareness). Everyone can be empathetic. Science is proving that neurodiverse folk in our society also have the capacity for empathy – science yet again busting some of the myths out there!
Scoring
Mostly A. Congratulations. It seems from your answers that you know exactly what it means to practice the most effective form of emotional intelligence! You’re truly focused on the other person and I’m sure that they appreciate your full focus on them. People will trust you more readily and you’re brilliant at getting to the heart of any issue. Keep going – you’re doing a brilliant job!
Mostly B. Well done. Judging by your results, it seems that many of the things you are doing are hugely empathetic, but not all. Take a look at all of the A answers and consider how you might change your approach in some cases to become an EI Acer!
Mostly C. The great news is that you recognize your behaviors. This is a great start but there is scope for you to look at the B and A answers and consider what you might do differently to become more genuinely empathetic. Remember, according to science, it’s impossible to know how someone feels. It’s better for you to ask great questions than assume you know how the other person is feeling.
Mostly D. It would seem from the answers that it’s time to learn from the B’s who are working at this thing called Emotional Intelligence. The great news is that EI is something you can practice over time and a great place to start is to actively listen to others. So the next time you get chatting to someone, consider putting your phone away. (Smiley face)
Important to note. This article has been written with the knowledge worker in mind. A wide range of roles do not have a choice of where they can do their work. I would, controversially perhaps, argue that knowledge work is accessible to all and I expect that people who are keen to travel, to have abundant flexibility and work from anywhere will switch to this career route
About the Author
Sandra Thompson is the Founder of the Ei Evolution, an Employee Experience (and Customer Experience) Consultancy helping businesses to attract, engage and retain their staff. She trains, consults and coaches people to create better business outcomes.
Sandra also advises companies on how to create emotional connections with their customers.
Sandra was a guest on the HR in Review Podcast in October and she spoke at an DisruptHR London at The Royal Institution in London in July! You can find it here: https://vimeo.com/742720512