In HRchat 274 we consider how to harness your emotional side to improve the ways you lead at work and in life. My guest this time is Laila Tarraf, Chief People Officer at Allbirds, a global footwear and apparel brand on a mission to show the fashion industry why it needs to focus less on flash and more on thoughtfulness. She is also the author of the April 2021 book Strong Like Water: How I Found the Courage to Lead with Love in Business and in Life. The book is a brave, heartfelt memoir of healing and learning from trauma.
For much of her career, Laila struggled to balance courage and compassion, intensity and flexibility, being respected and being likable. Then a series of losses in her life flipped Laila’s outlook and approach. “I have come to see that true power comes from connecting your head to your heart”, explains Laila. She adds that by “unlocking buried emotions and integrating the parts of yourself“, we can become more well-rounded managers, colleagues, and friends. She hopes her new book will help women longing for balance to discover a path to “infusing their leadership and relationships with love, compassion, and authenticity“.
What You’ll Learn in HRchat Episode 274
- How to let go of your “hero persona” and became a better delegator and collaborator.
- The pain and wonder of reconnecting with one’s feelings, and how giving yourself permission to be vulnerable can increase your ability to connect and empower others
- Why Laila takes great pride in being described as a “firm yet kind,” and the importance of leading others from a place of strength and love.
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More About Laila Tarraf and the Story Behind Strong Like Water
For years Laila believed that, to be a successful leader, a woman needs to be tough. She prized her ability to be strong, firm, and impassive, like her hardline immigrant father. Her strength became her power, and, for a while, it served her well in her business life. It enabled her to go toe-to-toe with powerful male leaders and excel in a career that took her from a recruiter for the internet division of Wal-Mart to Chief People Officer for Peet’s Coffee & Tea, the company that launched the craft coffee movement in America. But always being in control and never letting herself be vulnerable bled over into her personal life with disastrous results.
For a long part of her career, Laila, like many women, struggled to mix courage and compassion, intensity and flexibility, being respected and being likable. It took a series of three crushing losses for Laila to finally unlock decades of buried emotions and integrate the parts of herself that make her both strong and soft. As she attests: “I have come to see that true power comes from connecting your head to your heart.”
As the eldest of three children, Laila took on the dual role of mediator between her two warring parents and her mother’s comforter. At age seven, when her family left Lebanon for Las Vegas, her responsibilities expanded to serving as a bridge between two cultures and two languages. Her childhood training made her a natural for a career at the intersection of business and people: human resources. After seven years at Walmart.com, she landed a plum executive position with Peet’s in the San Francisco Bay Area. She thrived at work. She had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. Yet, intimacy eluded her. After two failed relationships, she fell into marrying Daniel, an attractive and seemingly carefree younger man. Despite the gift of a daughter, Nadia, her brief marriage was troubled and ended tragically—with Daniel’s death from a drug overdose.
Laila was overwhelmed with grief. In Strong Like Water, Laila recalls her shock—first over the loss of her husband, then at her parents’ lack of response. As she grappled with Daniel’s death and then faced two more tragedies, she knew it was time to seek out professional help for herself.
Check out Laila’s new book: amazon.com/Strong-Like-Water-Courage-Business/dp/1647420229