Grace under Fire

“I’ve dealt with co-workers stealing my ideas, trying to slash my reputation with management, and open “mean girl” jabs. It totally sucks.”

By Marye Audet

I have been on both sides of the career fence – a stay at home, homeschooling mom, and then a stay at home working mom. I was apparently a career prodigy in my teens and held management positions as well.

By the way, I have noticed that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, no matter which side you happen to be standing on.

In any case, over the years I have dealt with hostility and rude behavior from co-workers and managers more than I can count. I learned the meaning of sexual harassment in the corner of my manager’s office before I was 17. I’ve dealt with co-workers stealing my ideas, trying to slash my reputation with management, and open “mean girl” jabs. It totally sucks.

Hostility, more properly termed workplace incivility, is a serious problem that can limit productivity and cause fallout through the entire company. It isn’t much different that high school bullying when you think about it.

The Economic Times reports of a study done of Australians in the workplace. The group included 317 white collar workers, both men and women, and how they responded to workplace incivility. It could be any number of hostile behaviors, including gossip, derogatory comments, insults, snubs, texting during meetings, and rolling eyes. You know, high school stuff.

The study concluded that, not only do women experience more workplace incivility than men, female workers handle the bullying differently.

Men are more likely to retreat. They may take longer breaks, call in sick more often or avoid contact with their tormentor.

Some men do quite the opposite and aggressively confront the co-worker. Their basic intent is to protect their careers, even if that means that the aggressor gets fired. This also compels them to handle the situation at the beginning rather than spending weeks or months hoping that the bullying just goes away.

On the other hand, the women in the study just worked harder. They take on extra work, stay longer hours, and perfect their skills.

Another difference is that women are more interested in the behavior being stopped permanently than the perpetrator being punished or fired. Women will accept the conflict for much longer than men before they do something about it – if they ever do.

To finish the article, go to Smart Mom Style